Bali Initiatory Retreat

My masculine side (the will, courage and strength) is now at the service of this feminine, and it is a real revelation!

As a yoga teacher, the imprint of Bali will remain a great faith in the Universe, in the guidance that is now manifested in my classes, the concern for service, the concern to offer my students what they need, in the here and now, with tenderness and listening. Yoga goes far beyond the framework of the classes, it is in the daily life, present from the morning and in every moment of my life, in my meetings, whatever the circumstances.

Audrey is a wonderful spiritual guide. She inspires me a lot and I thank the Universe because she has made my path bloom! It now has a sweet scent of jasmine and sweetness...

These projections of abundance, I found them for real!

The scenery, the colors, the flowers, the fruits, the kindness of the people...I thought of abundance in the past but it was real and concrete, I just had to enjoy it.

That's what took the longest to come: I couldn't believe that it was possible and accessible.

Did Bali play a role in the transformations you mentioned?

"I felt it physically: how my body reacted to the warmth and abundance, it put me back in a place of my person that I didn't know. You meet another part of yourself. That was the most important thing because what I remember, a month later, is that I was there, in my body. But the fact that you feel physically like a different person is proof that it's just a matter of access and that it never goes away because my body is still there, it's still the same. It allows me not to lose my own potential, the one that is expanding.

Can you describe more precisely this body sensation that came to Bali?

"If I had to put words to it, it would be: solidity, expansion, comfort, strength, flexibility, a lot of ease, warmth in everything that is good about it, a lot of pleasure... I have memories of waking up there that are great! When I came out of my nights or my naps, I felt a fullness, a real physical pleasure ".

What were the moments that brought you the most during the retreat?

"What was the real driver in my transformation was the routine, rigorous, new and radical. We were not in a compromise. The idea was to do things thoroughly but never violently or brutally. The fact of having days on a repetitive model with a different content every day was very good for me. It was the structure that was good for me. I have an unstructured daily life here in Paris that sometimes twists my brain. The retreat realigned me in a very concrete way. I am still reaping the effects today. There is also the discovery of the Pujas and of prayer. This was both the most innovative thing for me and the biggest step to take. The effect of this spirituality on me was enormous, about as great as my initial resistance. It was completely unknown to me, and it is what will remain the most "Bali" for me. It is not yet something that I have managed to import into my life in such a present way. Those moments were so strong that I am still taming them and wondering how to insert them into my life."

Can you describe the transformations you experienced on site and those that occurred upon your return?

On the spot, I abandoned a kind of armor, a wounded animal armor, a defense mechanism, a protection mechanism, self avoidance mechanisms: not to be too present, not to be too visible... In fact, a lot of fears left. I heard two or three sentences that broke a real shell and I understood why fear was creating fatigue and was not constructive. I became aware of how much fear I had in me and how it was paralyzing me. It was actually suffering from the past and a fear of what was to come, of the future. It very gently let go during the retreat, especially during a conversation we had about this Mother Consciousness that is everywhere... Today in my job, this consciousness has replaced the fear. It is a sense of danger that has gone. When I put my finger on it, it faded away. I often experienced a kind of physical and psychological relaxation during vacations or trips, but when I returned it disappeared because the place determined the feeling. But here it was very deep. A month later I still feel it and in a very quiet way.

Today I put my finger on the difference between the woman who left and the one who came back: I am no longer a prey, I am powerful, I am in charge.

What changes have those around you noticed? Have they shared their feelings with you?"

"You look better", "It seems to have done you a lot of good". But the impression was always the same: how good it made me feel. What touched me the most was the fact that those around me told me that I had regained a presence, a thickness, a weight, in the good sense of the word. I was incarnated again, I was there. I had gained substance, density. It is tangible and palpable. There was also a need for stimulation that started up again: a thirst for learning, a curiosity, a thirst to buy books, to take part in workshops... My relatives saw a new movement!

Who do you think this yoga retreat is for?
"Anyone can do it, but not everyone may be at a point in their life where the impact of this retreat can be maximal. There is this feeling of being caught up in the moment: you are thirsty for it. There is something special about the pleasure of the baths, the creaming, the massages. I would advise leaving when you have reached this level of sensation.

There is a real appeal: it is the best criterion to know if the trip will be beneficial in all its dimensions.

But even if we don't have the will to transform, things happen, we always learn whatever happens...".

Can you clarify the meaning of the word "call"? A call to grow? A call to change your life?

"It's in terms of a lock, something that will blow the ceiling off. No matter how much I typed, nothing happened. I felt like I was stuck. Something was sticking. I didn't know where I was going, it was Audrey who made me leave. I said to myself "now you have to get unstuck, you have to try something else than what you know, a different approach, other ways to go forward". I felt that I had to do something radical. So my decision to leave was. Yes, it is a call to grow. It comes when we feel our potential but don't have access to it. The best version of me wasn't there. So I said to myself, "Become that person you want to be.